Surviving The Summer Of Unlove: Breaking Up Is Still Hard To Do
The simple accident of falling in love is as beneficial as it is astonishing .”
Robert Louis Stevenson
Falling in love at any age is a wondrous experience. But love at fifty-something is different than love at thirty-something. For some, it can be just like our first love, but deeper. For others, it is just one more in a line up of years of being in and out of love. And for others, the lucky ones, it is a life-long journey with a soul partner.
Falling in love, truly, madly and deeply is not for the faint of heart. It takes courage and conviction, time and energy and especially an espirit to de corps to open up your heart, yet again. Up until nine weeks ago, I was engaged (yet again). I thought I finally found my true soul mate/life mate/BFF and everything we all dream about for the first and last time — only to have it fall apart in what felt like a heartbeat.
It felt obvious to us that this was meant to be. We had one of those relationships that when people saw us together, they said, “I’ll have what they’re having.” We had so much fun, so many giggles (we once got kicked out of a yoga class) and had so many new adventures, that I was sure I had finally met my other half.
Combining two hearts was easy, especially when you discover you have found someone who is part of your soul family, perhaps divinely ordained from a higher source.
Combining two epicenters into one whole life center is always a challenge, but at this age, it can shake the very foundation of a newly-formed relationship.
Looming in the background were complications, since being on the cusp of 60, we all have a history, habits, responsibilities and stuff in our lives. While all these things can make life deeper, richer and more meaningful, they also make a new relationship testing as we attempt to mold two epicenters into one melded life center.
This is even magnified more when that other (my fiancé) has suffered a great loss and the children are tweens. Like the Nancy Myers’ movie with Meryl Streep and Alec Baldwin, It’s Complicated, let’s just say it was more than the love knot could hold.